Project Akatsuki: Because it's fun...

Are you planning on touring the world or Naruto? Then please consult SuperGrouper's handy guide to the tourist spots and historical sites of the ninja world before you go! =D

VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE LEAVES (AKA, Konoha): Konoha is the first destination in the typical ninja-world tourist route. It is home of Tsunade, a famous medical ninja who pioneered the field of ninja breast implants. It is also home to a popular ramen shop that met with scandal several years ago, when the health inspectors discovered humans in the ingredients of the shop's famous 'omnomnom ramen delight.' Don't miss the memorial shrine to the Fourth Hokage- years ago, the Fourth Hokage fought against a giant, monster fox to protect the village. Rather than killing the fox, like any sane person would do, he sealed it into the body of his newborn son, subjecting the boy to years of torture after his father's death. Note: If you go to the hot springs at Konoha, watch out- the Hyuuga Clan, a noble family of Konoha, have the ability to see through walls. A certain Hyuuga Neji is often seen suspiciously hanging around the hot springs, drooling.

VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE MIST: These guys are famous for how they select new ninja. They toss all of the twelve-year-olds in the village into a pit with a candy bar and let them fight each other to the death for the candy. The survivor becomes a chuunin. Of course, since they do this every year, the population on The Mist has been rapidly declining. There are currently twenty-three people left alive in the village- eight of which are over seventy years old. The Mist is almost famous for its seafood restaurants- which, due to the population shortage, are now self-serve. The guest plunges a bucket into the sea water, dumps the contents into a fire and pulls out anything that looks edible. ...did I mention that, due to the population dearth, there are no health inspectors in The Mist? Eat at your own risk. Oh, and by the way- there are no doctors there, either. And the only undertaker is a man known of as "Rower."

VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE STONE (AKA, Iwa): A town of hillbillies and farmers, Iwa is located in the mountains. With a literacy rate of 25% last year, Iwa is progressing incredibly quickly. Iwa is the home of Aunt Maya's fruit preserves, the Ninja Dairy Goats and is the birthplace of the terrorist Deidara, who is now working for the Akatsuki. There is some debate over whether Iwa should count as a ninja village- a mountain village that produces blond-haired, blue-eyed pyromaniacs seems far more American than Japanese. The peach preserves and dairy products Iwa produces are among the finest in the world, with only a very low mortality rate from bacterial contamination. Iwa's greatest weapon is the NDGS- Ninja Dairy Goat Squad- which is the finest (and only) one of its type in the world. These brave dairy goats are highly skilled in the martial arts and provide formidable backup for Iwagakure shinobi. They also provide milk for tea and coffee and at the end of their careers, they cook into a delicious (but somewhat unhygenic) stew. Something to note: don't visit Iwa if you can't do without indoor plumbing.

VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE WATERFALL: This was the first vilage to have a WI-FI network over its entire territory. To celebrate this, the ninja headbands of Waterfall are adorned with a "Download" symbol. This is the only village in the ninja world where you can check your email- so if you're still alive when you get here, email your family to let them know. ...Assuming that they survived the Iwa peach preserves you sent them, that is...

VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE SAND (AKA, Suna): This village is home to tanuki, doll-boys and Islamic terrorists. Full of scorpions, sand and raving serial killers, Sunagakure is a great place to send someone you don't like... but why on earth would anyone go there voluntarily? As a side note, the one gleaming ray of sanity in the entire village is a girl named Matsuri. Just give her a few years, though. She'll go nuts, too, given enough time and Gaara's influence.

VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE GRASS: Well, have you made it this far? Good for you. The Grass Village is full of cannibals, though. The safest way to get through alive is to disguise yourself to look like a hotdog or hamburger instead of a tasty human. Costumes of food items can be purchased in Konoha- perhaps I should have mentioned that earlier?

VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE RAIN: This industrious village is the most technologically advanced of all in the ninja world. They made their money by investing it in wal*Mart. To celebrate this achievement, the official ninja headbands of the Rain village are adorned with a barcode symbol. If you capture a ninja from the Rain, then you can scan his headband at any nearby Wal*Mart in order to find out hs name, rank, serial number and selling price. The owner of the Wal*Mart corporation, a man named Pein, is currently living in the Village Hidden in the Rain. However, it is unlikely that you will meet him- his secretary tend to use origami to attack anyone who tries to come near to her boss.

VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE CLOUDS: This village dose absolutely nothing of use or importance during the entire Naruto series. Because of this and its association with high altitudes and birds, I strongly suspect that this is the area that spawned Paloma, the ninja with absolutely no useful abilities, whose only power is talking to birds. It is also the home of the 2-tailed bijuu, who was kicked out of the village for shredding the Raikage's curtains with her claws. The main architectural style of this village is something akin to the ill-begotten child of Korin's tower (DBZ,) Laputa (Laputa: Castle in the Sky) and Vaati's Wind Palace (Zelda.) How three pieces of architecture can propogate themselves, I will leave up to your colorful imagination. If you go, wear a parachute at all times. The subtrate of this floating village is full of enormous holes, which aid in controling the population by means of the 5,000 foot drop. ...you do have a parachute, right?

VILLAGE HIDDEN IN THE HARD DRIVE (AKA, HDkagure): This village produces computer geeks, artists and bookworms. It is currently led by the Grouper-kage. It does not appear in the Naruto anime. Or the manga. Or doujinshi. Or popular internet fandom. It is a very well-hidden village, which is why no one knows about it. XD After all, why call a village hidden if people know its location? If you show up in HDkagure, then chances are that you've gotten lost in the internet. The magical snow foxes who live in HDkagure can help you out. Just ask one of them. They're very courteous. >^_^<

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